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I saw their pictures at the kada outings. Yes, they are very sweet with each other. He does stuff with her that he didn't do with me. I can tell from the picture that he really does care for her more than he did with me. Even when we were together, and she was just a friend, he already cared for her. I was so jealous but I didn't mind. She was my friend.
No matter how much I show them I'm ok, I still cry at night. by myself. Pictures pa lang, naiiyak na ako pag nakita kong super sweet sila sa isa't-isa. pano pa kaya pag nakita ko na sila ng harapan? Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko talaga kaya..
How come I love him so much? When he treated me so badly? He's the type of guy my parents wouldn't want for me.. But really, I DON'T CARE. I love him so much that I would accept whatever attitude he has. Speaking of. I've always hated RF. But he loved it. It was the main reason why we broke up. He had a girlfriend who worked for that game so she could give him and his friends stuff online. He two-timed me, and yet I was the one begging for him to give it another try. When someone was finally there to comfort me and give me all the attention he didn't give me, he became so obsessed with getting me back.
Eventually, he got tired and is now with my high school friend.
IT REALLY HURTS A LOT.. I am STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM.. But he doesn't care anymore. He's so happy that he's not even considerate about showing me how much he loves her and how he doesn't want me anymore.
Even my friend. She doesn't even care that I get hurt all the time I see their picture at YM. She knows I'm on-line. she knows I'm getting hurt, and yet she's adding the pain. It's like pinapamukha niya sakin na "He's mine now. Manigas ka."
Let's say, she wants to be friends again. But she's not showing any concern for what I feel. Everything she's doing is adding to the pain.. She doesn't notice that because she's too busy being happy with the man we both love.
Shit, I'm crying again. I couldn't take it. My friends, of course are giving them all the support like it's really just ok. Am I still their friend? I don't feel like it anymore.
Next time I see them, I'm going to make this fake face again. Pretend everything's ok. so there won't be any problem within the barkada. I have to be ok for them. Even though I'm not, I have to let them think I'm ok.
grumpy
tired
weird